Why do I blog? A confession

Yeah why do I blog?

Or let's put it in the majority,why do everyone else blog? Really, why? Maybe for the monetizing scheme it offer. Or maybe to the public pulpit it caters. Or to influence other thoughts. But me,why do I blog?

I hear the word blogging not for so long. It has been ,now, three months. Yes and though I still put myself always into this virtual world I just can't get the thing in here. What does that mean? Well, I learn blogging as a way of making money, that was then. I just can't see the foundation of this vast building, or to put it mildly I can't thrive this world. I can't level those on the top. I don't get the page I wanted. I can't write the way I wanted. I can't seem to shout to the world what I really feels. And I don't see her knowing my efforts.

I have to see thing through. I've got to be transparent,as my friends always say. How's that actually? How in the world I will be transparent when everything else blocks my horizon. When every problem I encounter blur my insights. Still now I finding my true talent, if there is? I still guessing if writing was really my true ability. Writing is fun, but every time someone criticizes me, the public sees me accepting it and learning from it, well actually it builds the boulder in me that trying to break me down. Talking about talents. Do I have one? I try topping in the class, but I don't feel what would a normal person should feel. Yes I am happy to see my parents smile when I present them flattering grades. But in the true sense , do I deserve it? For me a big NO. Someone else working hard more deserve it, or do I just saying that because now I can't top the class. Right now it seems impossible to get the award my parents hopefully I will get. That's the just the true pressure in me right now, to make my parents proud of me. Most parents actually don't appreciate their children's full effort on making them proud and say "this is my child".

In the lover's dimension, I seem not to see any gold pot at the end of the rainbow, there is no rainbow in the first place.huhu. I don't actually know what's a lover should feel. And then everyone , those that think their the witful persons on earth, yell to me that I am very young to thronged this complicated "love". Oh yeah a sixteen-year old teen like me is young. My vibrant features jeopardize my tomorrow. But in the reality, someway around at the end of the road I will still face that dilemma. So is it wrong at this very young stage to learn a little in this world? No it isn't.

Hahayzz, sorry guys if this post is a nonsense confession of a brat like me. I just can't really take the things happening in the world now. This post had been changing direction, sorry for that. But I just wanna sung the colorful side of things.

Blogging had brought me wisdom. Wisdom to see things lightly. Blogging lift my spirit high and inflates my self-esteem. Blogging has just becoming a true opportunity. Blogging did a lot of of changes in me. Yes blogging had a lot to offer, but somehow, someway, blogging is just a resemblance of life. Just don't let the light put off, if you still want to see the world. Hehe

Walking under the rain

It is supposedly a literal walk under the rain but ,you know, everything don't come as you most expect it.

Walking in the rain is fun. Especially when the one walking with you is someone. But that doesn't mean it's forever, actually it's just for minutes.

Our feet is the asphalt road of the city

As the the puffy cottons in the sky is crying

But more than you know, my heart is in the happiest dimension in the world

It's just like when Aristotle yell" Eureka" , it was everything


The windows of my exhilarating soul are penetrating on your magnificent being

Every step I would like to be forever

But in the most realism in the world, It's just a mere imagination

But in all imagination I'd make, it's the best


And every time you turn your face when I ask purposely nonsense questions

Thought you should know my spirit is lift-up really high

Even ecstasy can never be an exchange

Cause in my very me, everything can never vie


And as the walk soon ended, the actual reason was never paid

But the butterflies around me fluffed in speed of mach number 2

And it almost got me in the middle air

But in most cases often it did, you never saw the existence it offers, too


And the reality covers again the dimensions of my world

And that day soon faded

As again the usual aroma between us is in the aisle

But the memoirs on that walk never was said


And yes, that momentary glimpse of heaven for me still is true

But for you, it was just mere favor I ask from you

Sweet moments are meant to be treasured

In the reality in you, it never was single woe


Hahayzz. That maybe can sum it up. It was really something for me. But soon it ended. And you seem not to mind it. I'm not really emotion-ventilator, but it just feels so good to free it from me. And the title goes, it was a walk under the rain, it's madly fun but you know it'll gonna make you sick.haha

My new Template

Hooray to my new template!

Hooray, hooray nyahahaha. Yehey after series of failures and sleepless hours, at last my new picked up template works. Well I've been searching for a new theme for my blog but unfortunately there are lots of themes but not even suit my taste. That is not to say that I am choosy, the truth is I'm not. I just don't get the lay-out I"ve been longing for. I am not conscious about my template color or whatsoever I just want to find a reader-friendly theme and a workable lay-out ,those that really offers a lot of things. So finally I found one, its not really that professional but I guess you will like this, just in case.haha

Please just comment on what you feel about my new template because I'm planning to stick for it for months, so it'll be better if I hear other opinions about my new template.

well this template we'll not be such without my friend, Mr. Drobert Latasa, you can also check his site, the link is located at the left side of my sidebar.

The Scribbler's scrib

When I was a child I never dream of becoming a writer, it never crossed my mind. I am a kid who would rather spend a day playing in sand that to read a single kiddie poem.But things do change, as just they say nothing is permanent.

My enthusiasm of becoming a writer starts when I am a grade one student. If you can still recall in grade school days there are lots of stuff written on the wall of every classroom. Those times I can't even read straightly, but I try to understand what written their on the wall. As the days passed by, and gradually years, I learned that those stuffs written on the wall of every classroom were saying or if not a quotes from a respected personality. For me ,that was the firm building block of my love for writing. Reading had been my hobby since then, but we don't much reading materials in our home so I settle myself on anything I read on my classroom, and even anywhere.

Reading has lot of things to offer, and that is really sure. That were the times that I learn to love the subject I hate, English. As as time goes by my eagerness for reading is suffice . I also want to be read, I also want to be heard, I also want to write. But unfortunately writing is not as easy and comfortable a s reading. Writing is completely different thing. Even if its really have relationship with reading, it didn't suit me well. So just like every innocent child, I quit my passion for writing, for I guess it not my passion. Things become lighter when I was in grade five that a teacher approach me and ask me to join a journalism contest, which I suppose they just don't have any choice so they pick me up. But that's not the thing there, the writing contest I join is a press conference. I am just lucky that I won there and join the regional level , but of course failed even to be just a finalist in the national level.

Well to cut this long story telling short, at present I am now the editor-in-chief of our schoolpaper in english, but sometimes the thought of failure is still running in my mind. I am always scolded by my schoolpaper adviser for doing lots of fault, and being irresponsible on things assigned to me. I want to tell my adviser that I am not simply a journalist,I am a writer. Know what's the difference? For me being a writer is a passion and being a journalist is by profession, but I'm sure I'll be receiving lot of horrific scolds for that very OA stuff.haha

But for all the potentials starting writers out there, don't ever lost your passion. For every literate can write but few have been given the talent to inspire, motivate and influence, that only a true writer can do.

Of Friends and Lovers

I'd rather be a friend, than a shadow lover.

In life, there are things thats works mysteriously. I am an ignorant, I should confess but I see also the world in lighter views.


Just recently I have been observing the people around me, my classmates and friends. Well I just a bit amaze on how you can see other people when you are really keen observing. And I can say you can tell what they feel for other people, or someway like that. We can not deny of the repulsive emotions stability of the youth, that is ,of course part of growing. I want to tackle this "crush" matter. I guess everyone had been to this state except if they been given a steel heart, which is unlikely because ,yeah, everyone have emotion. It is to be human to have crush, my teachers from the my grade school always remind me.

Being a friend is fascinating thing. I can't imagine what my world would be if I don't even a single friend. But a sad reality comes into my mind sometime this days that being a lover and being a friend somehow sets limits. Well I suppose everyone had been through this dilemma. The truth is, for me, being a close friend is someway around better that being a lover. Why? based upon experience, people often are "naiilang" when they know someone do have a different feeling toward him/her. That will unfortunately lead someone to avoid the person much that gradually builds a fence between friendship, which is the sad part of being a lover. I am confused why does someone exhibit this act, how in the world they avoid someone who is just admiring her or feeling distinctly toward him/her.

This may sound I'm very much authorized to talk about this matter, well in fact I just wander in this place for just sixteen years. But to be frank, I really wanna know things happening in my world and this blog of mine had been my refuge when everyone doesn't want to hear my view and opinions. So this time I wanna know your point also. Please just try to help me understand such things , thank you.